Ibogaine and sobriety

For starters, I wanted my life back and to have keys to my life back to my life from alcohol. In doing so, I knew I was going to need to go through with this Ibogaine, I quit drinking prior, all prescription medication prior for however many days prior to going. Anyways, this does not happen to be a blog about my ibogaine trip, or journey really. It really happens to be more on what I was able to see about my drinking and being an alcoholic for some time. In doing so, it showed me every time I was drinking, I was crying in my drinks and washing away my tears, but really only sinking the knife in deeper and self-inflicting more by drinking. I dropped the victim mentality, after ibogaine that gets no one anywhere. Anyone who has lived any life, for any period of time, or has been around many people has been hurt, been let down, been hurt by things meant to be funny. But you cannot let that cut you deep, lighten up y'all stay focused on the good positive uplifting people around you, and do not take for granted what you have, you do not know when you will lose it, or not have it. I cannot to begin, to drive home enough how important facing things head on, and dealing with stuff and moving on happens to be. Do not let the past bind your back, with chains to the bottle because the bottle is connected to the past, more often than not. Also, the bottle, when often attached to the past is attached to the hurtful times. But ibogaine, helped me look back at my past and go wow, I was immature lots of times throughout my life, drinking is not the mature option to pick to solve problems. Also, a bottle of Crown or Jack or a 30 pack of Coors Light, is not a counselor or a friend you can console in. I believe brain injury one I had; was ATV wreck I got a concussion in before brain injuries were really a thing back in junior high at age 10 barely after turning 10, also brain injury i received coming off the paint horse landing on the back of my neck and making me nauseous and dizzy and feeling like I was going to pass out. But I cowboyed up and pushed on for a couple more hours (not the thing to do, do not do what I do and that was not cowboying up), to make certain paint horse did not do that again caused a brain injury, before my serious one in my accident. But y'all there is no need for a brain injury to scare anyone, but choice you make after a brain injury are really important, and I have found often people once have had a brain bleed the ones that start drinking, are quick to let themselves go, and go downhill. But anyone who was around me early 2014, or received any messages from me, I obviously am sorry if you were from school or certain places, that made no sense, I don't know what I was even thinking, things got chaotic for a while, man things have been a wild ride. I was not thinking about certain stuff at all, I do not know where my mind was at, hope no problems were caused. To anyone who was around me through certain times, obviously if you received a message from me beginning of 2021. I had a stage 3 pressure ulcer on my heel, with a staph infection in my spine on the hardware for fourth back surgery, with a pic line that went in my right bicep and emptied out in my chest. Ibogaine, sobriety and my new counselor Elizabeth Smith, have been great to the turning around of my life as well as Depakote medication for my mood stabilization. After my brain injuries, and after as much physical pain as I am in due to all my broken bones over the years, they have diagnosed me with not only PTSD which I overcame but still battle, to some degree. But Bi-polar which they've not technically classified me as, because it's really hard to say after all my pain shifts around my body, a little hard no to shift moods when pain area moves. It was hard battling PTSD, not to mention being diagnosed with PTSD yes I have been through so much, but hearing that I thought only soldiers got that and hear I thought I wasn't overseas getting shot at, having bombs thrown at me, seeing children shot, but here I am still having PTSD, left me with a little bit of a burden to carry. I will be honest again y'all, I drink more coffee and unsweet tea when craving or ever since quitting drinking again. Unsweet tea works good for those who liked to drink beer, coffee works for that but also for the hard stuff as well coffee and unsweet tea help to drink, instead of alcohol. Also, whenever you go out to an outing and there is beer or whiskey there, and you do not want to drink because you want to remain sober, but you don't want to be awkward, drink an energy drink, or one of those flavored waters. Because honestly let's face it, if you need alcohol to have a good time, then you probably are not having a good time, otherwise wouldn't need alcohol. Yes, I drank for fun before and enjoyment and was enjoyable but throughout those times that wasn't the only times was using alcohol and only thing using alcohol for. I was being a baby's ass at times in my life with my drinking and made a real ass out of myself at times. But I believe we all can say that, but man I for sure have had some epic ones. As I discuss openly in my book (at editor currently second round of edits) I cover a lot of this, and things I learned the hard way and things that I did to recover and how I recovered, but also some of the personal battles as well.